Elementary, my dear Avengers
by thecapefangirl
Summary: Oneshot fluff. Stark and Strange battle it out to be the best Sherlock. Agent Hill has to intervene to see who is the winner


"What are they arguing about now?" Sam asks as he hands Steve a cup of coffee.

Steve turns to look at the bar down below. There is Strange and Stark battling off about something again. _You cannot leave these two in a room unsupervised can you?_ Sam thinks. And, like usual, they both look like they had a bit too much to drink.

Ever since Strange and Stark were introduced, they were at each other's throats. Strange has turned a few heads at his arrival (That was too be expected of course, he is new after all), but soon enough all attention was focused on him. Even the Avengers were swooning at his feet. Obviously Stark didn't like this. To cut a long story short, both parties had a broken limb and a bruised face and a fire truck was called at one point.

At least now they are a bit more civil to each other, but Stark has the need to keep proving himself through childish arguments and bets and Strange still riles him on. From an outsiders view, it is quiet comical.

"Thanks." Steve takes a sip, "this time it is apparently who would make a better Sherlock."

Sam looks incredulously at Steve, "Seriously, Sherlock?" Steve nods. "Well now I've heard it all. What could possible cause them to fight over that?"

"I have no idea. I just came in here myself..." At this point Agent Hill makes an entrance next to them. "What is going on?"

"They are fighting to who is crowned Sherlock." Sam says.

"Really?" She sighs and rubs her face, "This is getting ridiculous. Something needs to be done."

She pushes away from the rail and walks down the steps.

Stark is stumbling about with a glass in his hand and the other pointing at Strange, "I would be the perfect Sherlock because I am the cleverer one out of the two of us. I managed to create all," he holds his hands up turning around "of this."

"Well, I am afraid you are wrong, because I am a surgeon and that beats engineering or whatever you do." He pours down another glass of brandy down his throat.

"You were a surgeon, so that does not count."

"For God's sake!" Hill exclaims as she intervenes between them. "I have had enough of your petty fighting." She shoves Stephen in one chair and Tony in the other. "So I will resolve this once and for all! I will decide who the best Sherlock is and you two will shut up, understand.

"This oughtta be good." Sam whispers.

Stark and Strange both look shocked, but nod silently.

"Good. I will ask questions and one by one you will provide your argument. Ok…" She ponders a question in the deadly silence. Even Sam and Steve are too scared to breathe loudly.

"Sherlock is English right? So give me your best accents. You first Tony."

"What sort of question is that?" Stark huffs.

"Sorry, too American." There is a stifled giggle coming from the balcony "Stephen, you go."

"My name is Stephen and I am going to win this bet." Strange says in his best British accent, then winking at the bristling Stark.

Hill leans back with wide eyes, "I am impressed, that was really good. One point to Stephen."

Stark opened his mouth to protest, "Next question!" Hill calls out before he could say anything. "So you must be able to deduce in order to be Sherlock. So deduce me." She gives a wide smile.

"You are an S.H.I.E.L.D agent." Stephen blurts out.

"Well done, doctor obvious" Stark rolls his eyes and leans forward, "I deduce that she is wearing a new expensive suit that was bought with my own money because is she going…on a …date?"

"Tony, you are absolutely…" She stares in amazement, "Wrong." Then smiles. The laughter from the background is getting louder

"Crap!" Stark says exasperated.

"To be fair you are not far off. Yes I have bought a new suit but because I am actually going to a lunch meeting with one of the new S.H.I.E.L.D agents. So I give you that point."

"That's unfair!" Stephen whines, "You have known her longer than I have."

"Life's unfair. Deal with it." Stark grins.

"Last question, which one of you looks the most like Sherlock?" She grins. She really is enjoying this. "It's not really a question, but I want you two to come back in half an hour with the best Sherlock outfit…time starts now!" They scramble out of the chairs and running across the room.

Sam and Steve collapse in hysterics at the top. They come towards her nearly falling down the stairs.

"I don't think I have had this much fun since we got Vision to hide Thor's hammer under a random basement. I have never seen such terror in his eyes." Sam laughs. "I can't wait to see what they come up with."

XXX

The thirty minutes came and went

Hill is in front of Strange and Stark who are both stiff like soldiers.

Stark decided to wear a white shirt and black pants with a long black coat. His wearing a stripped scarf. He also found a curly wig. Hill had to hold her breath to stop laughing.

"Good, good..." was all she could manage to say. She turned to Strange. His hair is gelled back under the iconic deerstalker cap. He has a tweed coat with also a white shirt and black pants.

"The cap was never mentioned in the books." Stark mumbles.

"Shut up. At least I made an effort."

"Not bad, except the moustache really doesn't fit in, does it." She turns around letting out a silent laugh. They both look so stupid.

"Well the decision is easy. I choose…" She let the tension set in. "Loki."

"Wait…what!" They look around as if they expected to see him floating from somewhere.

"Do you think I would choose between you two morons?"

It was Sam's and the Cap's idea. They all agreed unanimously that it would be a terrible idea to choose one over the other. So they decided to elect someone they should have a vendetta against. Loki was the obvious choice.

"Yes actually." Stark's irritated voice whispers.

"With Loki, I can at least give a reasonable answer. He has a reason to be a sad, lonely psychopath. And he has two brain cells to rub together. What reason do you have? Dressing up in play clothes and sounding clever is not enough. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to be late for my meeting." She turns around as stalks out, leaving the devastated participants behind.

"That was not expected."

"Not at all." Strange replies.

They were silent. "Do you want a drink?" Tony offers.

"Absolutely!"

 _ **Hey everyone! I wrote this for my friend and I decided to post it. I'm sorry that it is a bit rushed, but I hope you like it. Like always comment xxx**_


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